Ask Marvin

Drinks with my boss. Is it a bad idea if it might lead to a dangerous affair?

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I have recently been approached by my boss to go out for drinks after work. We get on really well and I’m sure if I put some effort in it could lead to more than dinner. A sordid affair maybe. I’m middle-aged, and wondering whether this is just a #midlifecrisis or something more?

Yours, JJ

Marvin’s Answer:

Midlife crisis activities can take many forms, but given the dangers an office romance is not the best one to go for. Much as I’m sure you’d like the excitement and rejuvenation of an affair, unfortunately you need to accept that a better path might be buying a new sports car, getting some trendy clothes or going on spa days.

Yes, you may miss out on mind-blowing sex, However, at the same time it might be disappointing to both of you as you are now so set in your ways. You don’t mention the age of your boss, but assuming she’s younger she may not want to watch you fold your socks, read your book or floss prior to engaging in what might for you will probably be muscle-pulling shenanigans.

As you might have seen recently, Ronald McDonald said “no” to office romances by sacking their CEO for dating someone junior to him in the business. So unless you too want to make a speedy exit from the company, I’d scrub this affair idea from your bucket list. There’s plenty of resources out there that talk of the negative implications, but maybe that’s because if anyone published anything saying something positive they’d be lynched, trolled or forced to live in eternal damnation.

An imaginery affair

Affair maybe in your imagination
An imaginary affair?

Oh, and let’s not forget much of it might be in your imagination anyway. The trouble with middle age is that fantasy takes root. For your boss, an affair with you may rank below clearing up after their dog. In fact, she may be asking you out to sack you, or talk about offering you the chance of redundancy.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking anyone asking to spend time in your company wants your witty stories and body. I mean, do people really want to listen to your tales of midlife arthritis, whilst looking at your grey hair and bulging waistline over a glass of wine… Need I say more?

The best thing to do is find a wing man or woman to accompany you on your night out. This should be someone who finds socialising after work a chore, but lives near you, so that when they get up to go after their one shandy, you’ll go with them.

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